i'm back! after a existing in the kingdom of hell. trials just ended last wednesday... and i screwed it. i cant blame myself... although i sit on my study pulling out my large stack of books, nothing seems to be getting into my head. i just cant concentrate... as i'm not in that trial mood..... so, i'm not serious about it. sigh. this cant prolong... its risky... very risky... although i may not be walking in this field, that doesnt mean i should just give up right? the proper way is to finish it. well at least i dont have naggy parents and siblings who go on and on and on.... they are understanding during these phases.... i just told my mum about it, and well she said its just trials.... i mean yeah its trials but still... i did badly...... =( so not me...... deviating from reality could be the cause i guess.... better teach myself to be serious about life.....
lets forget about that..... seeing everyone around being passionate about something and practically being very good at it triggered my thoughts as i asked myself ' what am i good at?' i see good violinist... cooks.... martial arts..... pianist.... art and more..... i mean sure i can play the piano... cook and well maybe do some art .. but that one thing which i'm really good at doing.... it doesnt exist in me..... well, these special talents are certain things that make an individual unique from others..... i suppose i'm not that unique... seeing most of my friend really good at one thing but i'm not really good at any thing kinda gets me worried.... as i cant still find my exact passion. i feel weird as i think about it.... cause it makes me feel abnormal. maybe i should go on a quest on finding my true passion.... in my point of view, every individual has that something special .... i just have to find mind and conquer it. bye for now :)
