call me a lousy blogger... i know.. i promised numerous post since i declared freedom after a long time... and that random thought of blogging... at least i did huh? so with tennis finals men yesterday and female on friday hahahahaaaa i was occupied..... congrats to Victoria Azarenka and one of my favourite male player Novak Djokovic :) you guys played an amazing game during the australian open 2013 :)

so, my my violin lesson's are beginning to improve tremendously. hahahaaa didnt i mention? i got a violin and a piano :D happy me!!!!! haahahahaaa beginning to play both and now i'm pretty good at it hahahaaa praising myself i guess....  

I know its really really late.... yep it has been weeks since i'm done with a burden called exams and my apologies for a late post. i was pretty busy enjoying freedom after being surrounded by four walls for months. was getting claustrophobic though.... but i guess now it seems to be a great relief. ahhhhhhhhh

i gotta tell you that this post was closed a hundred times even though i declared freedom. lol it was hard finding time to blog i guess. even facebooking, has become pretty quick...

so, a series of events did occur for the past few weeks. prom on the 13th of december (pics soon) :) and well, i'm certain about not elaborating on how my exams went on.... cause i dont want to take a second glance at it. lets move forward.

oh well byes for now ;)

sometimes i find it hard to get you.... why are you treating me like a kid? at times when i behave in a childish manner, you would tell me to grow up.. but now, I'm being pretty matured and you seem to be restricting me a lot like a kid. I'm sorry... I'm really really sorry for such a hard, cold statement that definitely pricked your heart. but i guess i was standing at that very edge on a cliff... and i had no choice but to fall off.... i admit. that my statement want really painful, but why do you always think from your perspective? my requirements were not something really wrong or something.... it was just a simple suggestion for everyone's convenience....  and now you label me as a selfish, pathetic person.... which i think is really unfair.... you called me a materialistic person.... if i was one, there would be other factors that would justify this statement. i guess you were being to quick in slipping out your words..... well, if you want to label me with such a character, go ahead for all i care. because in my heart, i know that i'm not such a person. if i was one, i wouldnt behave like a generous person. well, if you care about unity, you would definitely not be selfish in sharing i guess... you always think i'm some sort of girl with no confidence and poor ways of doing things... why cant you give me chance? i think everyone deserves one. but i guess you are indirectly wanting me to get away.... your behaviour is such that i really want to be on my own when i'm big. i'm sorry for such a plan. but i feel it for our good..... 

a picture doesnt say a thousand words... but billions of it..... the most awesome people i have ever met in this                     
                                                        period. the 2012 U6s4 batch.

i feel its just weird.... this world is weird.... time is weird.... i can't believe my eyes that 1 and half years just flew so freaking fast.... my first impression on form 6 was:

1. fun should be thrown away
2. start being matured
3. studies come first all the time...
and the list goes on.................

but it was way different from what i assumed in my heart. it was filled with a whole bag of fun, amazing moments... and not to forget, the most awesome schoolmates, that really spark up your everyday routine in school. :) i mean... even though being stuck in a small class at the third floor in the library, life never seemed to be dull up there.... everyday was filled with excitement. to move on, i should say that life was more like an adventure in form 6....  people always say, its hard! out there.. but, i found it easy because the people around me were enough to ease my mind :) i miss secondary too...but form 6 is another chapter.... .. i guess its another book to be precise..... it was wayyy different than secondary...  i just find it hard to put it in words, about how unique it was,,, but if i had to make it simple and sweet, it was just amazing =) and i seriously have no regrets in taking up from 6, although i'm not following that path.all i want to say is, thank you everyone out there who just made my form6 life awesome!! love you always :) good night :)



May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand. 
Irish Blessing

break...... well that's what i just did without being so engrossed in biology. or perhaps 'BREAK'... which should never happen to me..... my temper seems to be a little short for these few days due to certain factors like stress.... worries.... lack of sleep... i only get half of what is really required for a human being. pathetic huh? everyone around me seems to be leaving this world. i just don't know why as this was the third funeral i attended this year, one after the other..... they may just seem to be neighbours or family friends where you do get a glance of them maybe a few days or weeks ago and then that sudden news which makes you stop trying to recall those days of what these people have contributed to you in various ways. i guess I'm afraid of death. its not only me right? everyone... everybody wants to enter heaven but no one wants to die. the fear for death... I feel, thinking of it is just scary.... try imagining yourself inside a coffin wrapped...... gosh i'm scared. I guess i should stay away from sinful acts..... try my best to be a bit more polite to my love ones.... not to throw my temper on them... which i always do. but what scares me the most is, all these people who left were around my parents age...... i freaked out when i realized this. i mean i don't want to undergo any agonizing moments of seeing your parents without a life.... i would break..... death is a reminder to many. in fact to all human beings, that we don't live forever. we have to return to our creator. we have to be judged for all our acts. so i guess, life is short. be good to everyone around you... hinder yourself from hurting people's feelings... forgive and forget... well i do forgive... but i dont forget well that's to just keep me from burning my fingers again. to sum it up,


Every man dies. Not every man really lives. 
William Wallace 


good night world :)

i skipped school for a good reason ;) you see at least i'm taking the initiative to work hard at home even though i could easily procrastinate.  a cascade of events did occur in the past week.... well i could put coffee to sleep if i have to begin. the human brain is a complex organ in every individual..... the ability for it to take over your actions..... well, if it had switches to switch off certain nonsensical thoughts, i would certainly do that. there are other alternatives to that idea though. but that requires a lot of mental strength which is pretty hard. i guess i  could say that i am still recovering from my wound. its painful..... but i have to still go through it. i feel like a snail... moving at a slow pace when everyone else may have seemed to cross the finish line.... that sudden realization did trigger me .... i have  never achieved any accomplishments for a long long time.... i guess i have to push myself and grasp it... cause this is my last chance.....

i'm back! after a existing in the kingdom of hell. trials just ended last wednesday... and i screwed it. i cant blame myself... although i sit on my study pulling out my large stack of books, nothing seems to be getting into my head. i just cant concentrate... as i'm not in that trial mood..... so, i'm not serious about it. sigh. this cant prolong... its risky... very risky... although i may not be walking in this field, that doesnt mean i should just give up right? the proper way is to finish it. well at least i dont have naggy parents and siblings who go on and on and on.... they are understanding during these phases.... i just told my mum about it, and well she said its just trials.... i mean yeah its trials but still... i did badly...... =( so not me......  deviating from reality could be the cause i guess.... better teach myself to be serious about life..... 


lets forget about that..... seeing everyone around being passionate about something and practically being very good at it triggered my thoughts as i asked myself ' what am i good at?' i see good violinist... cooks.... martial arts..... pianist.... art and more..... i mean sure i can play the piano... cook and well maybe do some art .. but that one thing which i'm really good at doing.... it doesnt exist in me..... well, these special talents are certain things that make an individual unique from others..... i suppose i'm not that unique... seeing most of my friend really good at one thing but i'm not really good at any thing kinda gets me worried.... as i cant still find my exact passion. i feel weird as i think about it.... cause it makes me feel abnormal. maybe i should go on a quest on finding my true passion....  in my point of view, every individual has that something special .... i just have to find mind and conquer it. bye for now :)